So I've already told you a bit about us in my first post. Time for some more details.
Our former religion is Jehovah's Witnesses. Now, many might say they aren't a cult, but if you look at it objectively, it most certainly IS. If it looks like a duck, and it sounds like a duck, and it walks like a duck, it's probably a duck.
I'll post at the end a GREAT link about cults. For now, I'll tell you more about us and our celebrations this year.
The Husband & The Roomie are both what is considered "born-in" because their parents were already JWs when they were born. I am not a born-in, but my siblings were. As it stands currently, none of my siblings have remained JWs, 1 left on his own and the other 2 were disfellowshipped, and subsequently, shunned. Our mother is the only one still a JW and she's quite devout. She does vacillate with her shunning of us, though. Sometimes she talks to us, sometimes not.
We all recently celebrated our birthdays and Christmas. I was about age 3 when I had my last Christmas and I remember it well. Thing 3 is 4 and just had his first Christmas, so it feels a little like he is picking up where I left off.
I insisted on a REAL tree and we spent probably $150 in decorations, a tree skirt, stockings, and the like. We easily spent over that on gifts. And this was supposed to be a cheap Christmas. Next year, we will already have our decorations and we'll have worked on collecting gifts throughout the year instead of having to buy them all in one fell swoop. That put a major crimp in our budget, but it was a great experience for the kids and a learning experience for The Husband & me. The Roomie seemed to enjoy himself, too, and picked gifts for the kids that were perfect for each of them.
For his first birthday, at age 29, I baked and decorated a cake for The Roomie, since he has special dietary needs. This one was gluten free. It was Super Mario Bros. themed and I think I did a bang up job, if I do say so myself! At some point, I'll figure out how to upload pictures and you all can see it. He loved it. :)
For Thing 2's first birthday this year, she had a cake with polka dots and a giant green bow. It was beautiful and tasted delicious! (Sam's Club FTW!) Thing 3 had a Batman cake! He was more interested in the toy on top of it than he was in the actual cake. LOL! Thing 1 had cupcakes earlier this year, since we were still living with my parents and unable to comfortably celebrate it for him.
We had our first Halloween this year, too! JWs are taught that this is the devil's holiday and it would HORRIFY most to know we turned our backs on our former beliefs and celebrated such an awful day! Frankly, I kinda like that. :) The only issue I found w/ taking Thing 3 out trick or treating is that I kept thinking I had to come up with some stupid presentation and offer a magazine to the householder! LOL!
As I promised, I'll share a link about cults. This link is my favorite because of the way it's organized.
http://freedomofmind.com/Info/BITE/bitemodel.php
Behavior Control
1. Regulation of individual’s physical reality
a. Where, how and with whom the member lives and associates with
b. What clothes, colors, hairstyles the person wears
c. What food the person eats, drinks, adopts, and rejects
d. How much sleep the person is able to have
e. Financial dependence
f. Little or no time spent on leisure, entertainment, vacations
2. Major time commitment required for indoctrination sessions and
group rituals
3. Need to ask permission for major decisions
4. Need to report thoughts, feelings and activities to superiors
5. Rewards and punishments (behavior modification techniques- positive
and negative).
6. Individualism discouraged; group think prevails
7. Rigid rules and regulations
8. Need for obedience and dependency
a. Deliberately holding back information
b. Distorting information to make it acceptable
c. Outright lying
2. Access to non-cult sources of information minimized or discouraged
a. Books, articles, newspapers, magazines, TV, radio
b. Critical information
c. Former members
d. Keep members so busy they don’t have time to think
3. Compartmentalization of information; Outsider vs. Insider doctrines
a. Information is not freely accessible
b. Information varies at different levels and missions within
pyramid
c. Leadership decides who “needs to know” what
4. Spying on other members is encouraged
a. Pairing up with “buddy” system to monitor and control
b. Reporting deviant thoughts, feelings, and actions to leadership
5. Extensive use of cult generated information and propaganda
a. Newsletters, magazines, journals, audio tapes, videotapes,
etc.
b. Misquotations, statements taken out of context from non-cult
sources
6. Unethical use of confession
a. Information about “sins” used to abolish identity
boundaries
b. Past “sins” used to manipulate and control; no forgiveness
or absolution
a. Map = Reality
b. Black and White thinking
c. Good vs. evil
d. Us vs. them (inside vs. outside)
2. Adopt “loaded” language (characterized by “thought-terminating
clichés”). Words are the tools we use to think with.
These “special” words constrict rather than expand understanding.
They function to reduce complexities of experience into trite, platitudinous
“buzz words”.
3. Only “good” and “proper” thoughts are encouraged.
4. Thought-stopping techniques (to shut down “reality testing”
by stopping “negative” thoughts and allowing only “good”
thoughts); rejection of rational analysis, critical thinking, constructive
criticism.
a. Denial, rationalization, justification, wishful thinking
b. Chanting
c. Meditating
d. Praying
e. Speaking in “tongues”
f. Singing or humming
5. No critical questions about leader, doctrine, or policy seen
as legitimate
6. No alternative belief systems viewed as legitimate, good, or
useful
2. Make the person feel like if there are ever any problems it
is always their fault, never the leader’s or the group’s.
3. Feeling-stopping (with number 4, Excessive use of guilt). Like thought-stopping, this is the automatic suppression or blocking of feelings that are not acceptable by the cult identity- such as feeling \”homesick\” or feeling \”depressed\” or feeling \”resentful\”.
4. Excessive use of guilt
a. Identity guilt
1. Who you are (not living up to your potential)
2. Your family
3. Your past
4. Your affiliations
5. Your thoughts, feelings, actions
b. Social guilt
c. Historical guilt
5. Excessive use of fear
a. Fear of thinking independently
b. Fear of the “outside” world
c. Fear of enemies
d. Fear of losing one’s “salvation”
e. Fear of leaving the group or being shunned by group
f. Fear of disapproval
6. Extremes of emotional highs and lows.
7. Ritual and often public confession of “sins”.
8. Phobia indoctrination : programming of irrational fears of ever
leaving the group or even questioning the leader’s authority. The
person under mind control cannot visualize a positive, fulfilled
future without being in the group.
a. No happiness or fulfillment “outside”of the group
b. Terrible consequences will take place if you leave: “hell”;
“demon possession”; “incurable diseases”;
“accidents”; “suicide”; “insanity”;
“10,000 reincarnations”; etc.
c. Shunning of leave takers. Fear of being rejected by friends,
peers, and family.
d. Never a legitimate reason to leave. From the group’s perspective,
people who leave are: “weak;” “undisciplined;”
“unspiritual;” “worldly;” “brainwashed
by family, counselors;” seduced by money, sex, rock and roll.
Our former religion is Jehovah's Witnesses. Now, many might say they aren't a cult, but if you look at it objectively, it most certainly IS. If it looks like a duck, and it sounds like a duck, and it walks like a duck, it's probably a duck.
I'll post at the end a GREAT link about cults. For now, I'll tell you more about us and our celebrations this year.
The Husband & The Roomie are both what is considered "born-in" because their parents were already JWs when they were born. I am not a born-in, but my siblings were. As it stands currently, none of my siblings have remained JWs, 1 left on his own and the other 2 were disfellowshipped, and subsequently, shunned. Our mother is the only one still a JW and she's quite devout. She does vacillate with her shunning of us, though. Sometimes she talks to us, sometimes not.
We all recently celebrated our birthdays and Christmas. I was about age 3 when I had my last Christmas and I remember it well. Thing 3 is 4 and just had his first Christmas, so it feels a little like he is picking up where I left off.
I insisted on a REAL tree and we spent probably $150 in decorations, a tree skirt, stockings, and the like. We easily spent over that on gifts. And this was supposed to be a cheap Christmas. Next year, we will already have our decorations and we'll have worked on collecting gifts throughout the year instead of having to buy them all in one fell swoop. That put a major crimp in our budget, but it was a great experience for the kids and a learning experience for The Husband & me. The Roomie seemed to enjoy himself, too, and picked gifts for the kids that were perfect for each of them.
For his first birthday, at age 29, I baked and decorated a cake for The Roomie, since he has special dietary needs. This one was gluten free. It was Super Mario Bros. themed and I think I did a bang up job, if I do say so myself! At some point, I'll figure out how to upload pictures and you all can see it. He loved it. :)
For Thing 2's first birthday this year, she had a cake with polka dots and a giant green bow. It was beautiful and tasted delicious! (Sam's Club FTW!) Thing 3 had a Batman cake! He was more interested in the toy on top of it than he was in the actual cake. LOL! Thing 1 had cupcakes earlier this year, since we were still living with my parents and unable to comfortably celebrate it for him.
We had our first Halloween this year, too! JWs are taught that this is the devil's holiday and it would HORRIFY most to know we turned our backs on our former beliefs and celebrated such an awful day! Frankly, I kinda like that. :) The only issue I found w/ taking Thing 3 out trick or treating is that I kept thinking I had to come up with some stupid presentation and offer a magazine to the householder! LOL!
As I promised, I'll share a link about cults. This link is my favorite because of the way it's organized.
http://freedomofmind.com/Info/BITE/bitemodel.php
Behavior Control
1. Regulation of individual’s physical reality
a. Where, how and with whom the member lives and associates with
b. What clothes, colors, hairstyles the person wears
c. What food the person eats, drinks, adopts, and rejects
d. How much sleep the person is able to have
e. Financial dependence
f. Little or no time spent on leisure, entertainment, vacations
2. Major time commitment required for indoctrination sessions and
group rituals
3. Need to ask permission for major decisions
4. Need to report thoughts, feelings and activities to superiors
5. Rewards and punishments (behavior modification techniques- positive
and negative).
6. Individualism discouraged; group think prevails
7. Rigid rules and regulations
8. Need for obedience and dependency
Information Control
1. Use of deceptiona. Deliberately holding back information
b. Distorting information to make it acceptable
c. Outright lying
2. Access to non-cult sources of information minimized or discouraged
a. Books, articles, newspapers, magazines, TV, radio
b. Critical information
c. Former members
d. Keep members so busy they don’t have time to think
3. Compartmentalization of information; Outsider vs. Insider doctrines
a. Information is not freely accessible
b. Information varies at different levels and missions within
pyramid
c. Leadership decides who “needs to know” what
4. Spying on other members is encouraged
a. Pairing up with “buddy” system to monitor and control
b. Reporting deviant thoughts, feelings, and actions to leadership
5. Extensive use of cult generated information and propaganda
a. Newsletters, magazines, journals, audio tapes, videotapes,
etc.
b. Misquotations, statements taken out of context from non-cult
sources
6. Unethical use of confession
a. Information about “sins” used to abolish identity
boundaries
b. Past “sins” used to manipulate and control; no forgiveness
or absolution
Thought Control
1. Need to internalize the group’s doctrine as “Truth”a. Map = Reality
b. Black and White thinking
c. Good vs. evil
d. Us vs. them (inside vs. outside)
2. Adopt “loaded” language (characterized by “thought-terminating
clichés”). Words are the tools we use to think with.
These “special” words constrict rather than expand understanding.
They function to reduce complexities of experience into trite, platitudinous
“buzz words”.
3. Only “good” and “proper” thoughts are encouraged.
4. Thought-stopping techniques (to shut down “reality testing”
by stopping “negative” thoughts and allowing only “good”
thoughts); rejection of rational analysis, critical thinking, constructive
criticism.
a. Denial, rationalization, justification, wishful thinking
b. Chanting
c. Meditating
d. Praying
e. Speaking in “tongues”
f. Singing or humming
5. No critical questions about leader, doctrine, or policy seen
as legitimate
6. No alternative belief systems viewed as legitimate, good, or
useful
Emotional Control
1. Manipulate and narrow the range of a person’s feelings.2. Make the person feel like if there are ever any problems it
is always their fault, never the leader’s or the group’s.
3. Feeling-stopping (with number 4, Excessive use of guilt). Like thought-stopping, this is the automatic suppression or blocking of feelings that are not acceptable by the cult identity- such as feeling \”homesick\” or feeling \”depressed\” or feeling \”resentful\”.
4. Excessive use of guilt
a. Identity guilt
1. Who you are (not living up to your potential)
2. Your family
3. Your past
4. Your affiliations
5. Your thoughts, feelings, actions
b. Social guilt
c. Historical guilt
5. Excessive use of fear
a. Fear of thinking independently
b. Fear of the “outside” world
c. Fear of enemies
d. Fear of losing one’s “salvation”
e. Fear of leaving the group or being shunned by group
f. Fear of disapproval
6. Extremes of emotional highs and lows.
7. Ritual and often public confession of “sins”.
8. Phobia indoctrination : programming of irrational fears of ever
leaving the group or even questioning the leader’s authority. The
person under mind control cannot visualize a positive, fulfilled
future without being in the group.
a. No happiness or fulfillment “outside”of the group
b. Terrible consequences will take place if you leave: “hell”;
“demon possession”; “incurable diseases”;
“accidents”; “suicide”; “insanity”;
“10,000 reincarnations”; etc.
c. Shunning of leave takers. Fear of being rejected by friends,
peers, and family.
d. Never a legitimate reason to leave. From the group’s perspective,
people who leave are: “weak;” “undisciplined;”
“unspiritual;” “worldly;” “brainwashed
by family, counselors;” seduced by money, sex, rock and roll.
No comments:
Post a Comment