A reader named Janet commented on my last blog post.
She wrote the following in the comments:
... The WTS micromanages it's members. They aren't allowed to think because they shouldn't rely on their own understanding.
But one thing I feel about them is that there are people who seem to be happy being micromanaged. They have fear and the religion they chose soothed the fear for them.
She's right. I've never been one to handle being told what to do. I need guidance on things, to be sure, my Asperger's Syndrome makes it difficult for me to deal with some things and my ADHD .... ppffft! Oh, look, a butterfly! LOL But I don't need or want to be micromanaged and told what to do and told I can't think for myself. My brain works just fine on it's own, thank you very much.
Proverbs 3:5 states: Trust in Jehovah with all your heart and do not lean upon your own understanding. (New World Translation)
The Watchtower Society takes this to an extreme, making sure they drive this home over and over again. They say that people can't trust themselves to make good decisions, that they need to rely on god for that. Ok, if you believe in god, then that's not entirely outside the realm of normal for you. But it's not just about relying on god. They use words and phrases designed to make you think that you absolutely can not make a decision for yourself. From something so mundane as whether this is the right toothpaste for your family to more major decisions like, "Is this the best neighborhood?" I'm not even kidding. My mother prays over shit like that. She'll make a decision, then hem & haw and vacillate on the subject, changing her mind half a dozen times, and finally settling on something only AFTER she's prayed about it. And even then she will be indecisive.
When you hear something over and over again, you begin to believe it. If you're told you're fat, eventually you start to think, "Gee, maybe I am fat. I should change something." If a kid hears, "What are you? Stupid?!" constantly as they grow, they will grow into an adult that doubts their mental capabilities. (I speak from experience on that one.)
The same holds true for this scripture and it's interpretation. As long as you're told you're too stupid to think for yourself, you will eventually believe that.
As long as you allow someone else to make your decisions for you, the harder it is for you to make up your own damn mind over even the menial things.
Janet also noted that some people seem to enjoy being micromanaged. My mother is one of those. She seems to need someone else to think for her and this religion/cult fits the bill. She has always sought out situations where she does't have to think for herself. She married my father, an abusive, controlling, manipulative individual. Then she joined the JWs, an abusive, manipulating, controlling cult. So she had 2 aspects of her life controlling her and making her decisions for her. She left my father in mid 2011 and now claims she can serve Jehovah whole-heartedly.
Ok. Or she can allow only one controlling aspect of her life to keep fucking her up in the head. Whatever....
Personally, I choose not to live my life by someone else's standards. I have my own brain and it works just fine in the thinking & decision making department.
Friday, January 13, 2012
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Birthdays and why JWs don't celebrate them
The Husband has a birthday coming up in a few weeks. Since it's his first, I've decided to have a party! I invited some friends over, as well as 2 of his former co-workers/friends from back in our JW days (they are not & have never been JW), and I plan to grill. It should be fun!
The JW logic for not celebrating birthdays is the following:
No proof that Jesus celebrated his birthday
No proof that the apostles or other early Christians celebrated their birthdays
The only 2 birthday celebrations mentioned in the bible involved murders (baker in the old testament and John the Baptist in the new testament)
Too much glory given to 1 person when we should owe all our glory to god
Scripture in old testament says the day of one's death is more important than the day of one's being born (logic for that is because one has made a name for him/herself by the time they die -- illogical if the death is a newborn)
Personally, the day my children were born are 3 of the best days of my life. Why shouldn't that be celebrated? Additionally, who is anyone to tell me what I can and can not do in my personal life???
I found a list of things JWs can't do. Number 78 states that they can't celebrate birthdays. The whole list is pretty informative, actually. Read through and click the links provided. You might find it enlightening.
Some of the other things on that list are grey areas and some depend on the individual and whether they can think for themselves. (If they do, it's hush hush.)
The JW logic for not celebrating birthdays is the following:
No proof that Jesus celebrated his birthday
No proof that the apostles or other early Christians celebrated their birthdays
The only 2 birthday celebrations mentioned in the bible involved murders (baker in the old testament and John the Baptist in the new testament)
Too much glory given to 1 person when we should owe all our glory to god
Scripture in old testament says the day of one's death is more important than the day of one's being born (logic for that is because one has made a name for him/herself by the time they die -- illogical if the death is a newborn)
Personally, the day my children were born are 3 of the best days of my life. Why shouldn't that be celebrated? Additionally, who is anyone to tell me what I can and can not do in my personal life???
I found a list of things JWs can't do. Number 78 states that they can't celebrate birthdays. The whole list is pretty informative, actually. Read through and click the links provided. You might find it enlightening.
Some of the other things on that list are grey areas and some depend on the individual and whether they can think for themselves. (If they do, it's hush hush.)
Monday, January 9, 2012
Salt & Vinegar Potato Chips
I had a sudden craving for Salt & Vinegar chips the other day. I can't find them ANYWHERE in my city and it's a bit frustrating. I've looked at the gas station, Walmart, Walgreens, HEB (grocery), and wherever else I can think of that sells snack foods.
My dear friend & fellow blogger, Mom-Pinion, was so thoughtful! In order to assist me on this quest for insomnia-addled snacking, she shipped me 2 bags of Lay's Salt & Vinegar potato chips! *swoon* (Much thanks to her awesome hubby who went to the post office!)
You guys will die when you see how much she spent... The chips themselves were $5, total. Shipping brought it to $14. My eyes about fell out of my head. HAHAHHAHA!!!! And the US Postal Service wonders why it's not making money....
I once priced shipping on a small pizza from CT to TX. Over $50. That was 13 years ago. Needless to say, I did not get that pizza. :p
I am, however, getting those chips. And you know what? They better be the BEST fucking chips EVER!!!!! I'll be blogging in the wee, small hours of the night, munching away, and thinking of my girl! I know she's got my back!
My dear friend & fellow blogger, Mom-Pinion, was so thoughtful! In order to assist me on this quest for insomnia-addled snacking, she shipped me 2 bags of Lay's Salt & Vinegar potato chips! *swoon* (Much thanks to her awesome hubby who went to the post office!)
You guys will die when you see how much she spent... The chips themselves were $5, total. Shipping brought it to $14. My eyes about fell out of my head. HAHAHHAHA!!!! And the US Postal Service wonders why it's not making money....
I once priced shipping on a small pizza from CT to TX. Over $50. That was 13 years ago. Needless to say, I did not get that pizza. :p
I am, however, getting those chips. And you know what? They better be the BEST fucking chips EVER!!!!! I'll be blogging in the wee, small hours of the night, munching away, and thinking of my girl! I know she's got my back!
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Fuck You & Your Fucking Mind Controlling Cult
I keep thinking how my former "friend" is shunning me and how obnoxious that is. Who the fuck does anyone think they are?! The audacity to think that you're better than me simply because I changed my mind is just beyond anything I can comprehend.
If there is a God, isn't it up to Him who gets judged and how?
I'm gutted by this. I expect it, yes, but that doesn't make it any easier to deal with and it doesn't make it right.
Have I been this way toward other ex-JWs in the past? Yes, I have. Know what I've done since I left? I've apologized to the ones I've shunned. Whether they forgive me or not is up to them, and if they give me the cold shoulder, then so be it. I understand.
I've been told (by a therapist) that I trust too much. Perhaps that's true. Why should I pour my heart and soul out to you if you don't appreciate it? If you turn your back on me? If you take advantage of me? If you abuse the privilege of hearing my most personal thoughts, opinions, and experiences? If you judge me for everything I've shared with you?
Time to build walls. Time to stop trusting so easily. Time for people like that to go. I don't need that drama in my life.
I want to text this former friend and ask her, "Blocked? Really? Awesome." But it's not worth my energy. It's not worth the mental drain. And it's not worth worrying about.
So I'll just say this:
Fuck. You. And the horse you rode in on.
If there is a God, isn't it up to Him who gets judged and how?
I'm gutted by this. I expect it, yes, but that doesn't make it any easier to deal with and it doesn't make it right.
Have I been this way toward other ex-JWs in the past? Yes, I have. Know what I've done since I left? I've apologized to the ones I've shunned. Whether they forgive me or not is up to them, and if they give me the cold shoulder, then so be it. I understand.
I've been told (by a therapist) that I trust too much. Perhaps that's true. Why should I pour my heart and soul out to you if you don't appreciate it? If you turn your back on me? If you take advantage of me? If you abuse the privilege of hearing my most personal thoughts, opinions, and experiences? If you judge me for everything I've shared with you?
Time to build walls. Time to stop trusting so easily. Time for people like that to go. I don't need that drama in my life.
I want to text this former friend and ask her, "Blocked? Really? Awesome." But it's not worth my energy. It's not worth the mental drain. And it's not worth worrying about.
So I'll just say this:
Fuck. You. And the horse you rode in on.
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Depression & Mania, Technology, and a Photo Shoot
I've had a few days of depression and then mania hit me again tonight. I invited 3 extra kids to sleep over, did the dishes, and then I cleaned out under the couch cushions. It didn't stop there... I proceeded to MOVE the love seat and clean out under it and then I vacuumed. I also have a load of sheets in the wash.
While I am manic tonight, I was depressed for the last 2-3 days. I'm guessing it was triggered by my "friend" shunning & blocking me. I slept a lot while I was depressed. The plus side to the depression is that my sleep pattern started to shift back to a more normal one. I did wake up in the night for about an hour. I hung out w/ The Roomie and discussed work & code and stuff like that. Then I was tired again. THAT is highly unusual. Usually, if I wake in the night, I'm wide awake and can't go back to sleep.
I fell asleep again around 5:30 in the morning and woke at 10. Sleep is still messed up, but at least it's improving.
Today I did some training for my new temp job. As stated in my profile (to the left), I'm an e-assistant. Today, I was learning how to download, re-size, and upload various images for the most popular, independently owned, entertainment site on the net right now. All of that stuff is pretty easy, it was just a matter of learning the process, uploading things where they're supposed to be, and moving on to the next item on the list. I rather enjoyed it, aside from technology issues.
Technology issues..... I wanted to punch a hole in my laptop today and then throw it out the fucking window. Ok, I grew up in a tech home. I married a tech guy. My jobs are both entertainment/technology related. I BLEED GEEK. Yet, somehow, technology does not like me. I swear, it knows exactly how to piss me off. Today, while trying to work on my job training, I couldn't make Ubuntu respond and open programs, I couldn't find certain programs I needed to use for said job training, and I couldn't find the damn file menu in one of the programs because it had disappeared.
I reiterate: I WANTED TO PUNCH MY FUCKING LAPTOP.
I had a photo shoot to go to for a couple of hours, so while I was gone, The Husband wiped Ubuntu and installed Windows XP. Meh, as long as it all works for me, I'm fine. I was getting used to Ubuntu, but I couldn't take the issue of it not responding, the slowness, the file menu disappearing, and not having a logical place to see what programs I have.
We'll see how it works for me to have Windows XP on here for now. I originally had Vista and that was a total system drain. Worse than Ubuntu. I'm not sure how another version of Windows will improve it, but we'll see.
I mentioned a photo shoot. I have a local photographer friend on my facebook that I met through a FB event for a nurse-in. Denny's (somewhere) had made an issue over a breastfeeding mother and so a bunch of other breastfeeding moms had gotten together to organize nurse-ins throughout the country. I met M through the FB page regarding this event in our city. Some months later, she was looking for models for her online gallery, specifically, children. I volunteered and she shot my kids. (Haaaa. With a camera, you sickos!) The images came out beautifully. She was quite patient, even when Thing 1 was being difficult. And she somehow managed to capture him in a way that you would never know he was being a pill that day. LOL
Today, she had some time to herself and wanted to take some pics, so she asked if anyone was available around 4. I volunteered again and met her downtown. We wandered around a little bit, looking for something to drink, and we came upon an event inside one of the buildings. We went inside to scope out the location of a small cafe or a water fountain. (We found a cafe.) While we were in there, though, the place was TEEMING with people and chatter and lights and noise and chaos and madness...... Totally overwhelming for me! I laughed when I told her, "Um, I have autism and this is freaking me out. So I'm just gonna stay close to you."
We found a decent place to shoot and we chatted & people watched a bit when we noticed some teenagers all dressed up in gold & black. It was a quinceañera and the young lady was wearing a gorgeous black & gold dress. Something had gotten on the front of it and we watched 2 teenaged boys helping her fix it. It was so sweet! M volunteered to take a couple pictures for the birthday girl and got her email addy. Hopefully, this will garner some business for M!
On my personal FB account, M posted a pic of me and I LOVE it! It came out beautifully! I wasn't sure how it would look, what with my purple hair, but it's good! I like it.
While I am manic tonight, I was depressed for the last 2-3 days. I'm guessing it was triggered by my "friend" shunning & blocking me. I slept a lot while I was depressed. The plus side to the depression is that my sleep pattern started to shift back to a more normal one. I did wake up in the night for about an hour. I hung out w/ The Roomie and discussed work & code and stuff like that. Then I was tired again. THAT is highly unusual. Usually, if I wake in the night, I'm wide awake and can't go back to sleep.
I fell asleep again around 5:30 in the morning and woke at 10. Sleep is still messed up, but at least it's improving.
Today I did some training for my new temp job. As stated in my profile (to the left), I'm an e-assistant. Today, I was learning how to download, re-size, and upload various images for the most popular, independently owned, entertainment site on the net right now. All of that stuff is pretty easy, it was just a matter of learning the process, uploading things where they're supposed to be, and moving on to the next item on the list. I rather enjoyed it, aside from technology issues.
Technology issues..... I wanted to punch a hole in my laptop today and then throw it out the fucking window. Ok, I grew up in a tech home. I married a tech guy. My jobs are both entertainment/technology related. I BLEED GEEK. Yet, somehow, technology does not like me. I swear, it knows exactly how to piss me off. Today, while trying to work on my job training, I couldn't make Ubuntu respond and open programs, I couldn't find certain programs I needed to use for said job training, and I couldn't find the damn file menu in one of the programs because it had disappeared.
I reiterate: I WANTED TO PUNCH MY FUCKING LAPTOP.
I had a photo shoot to go to for a couple of hours, so while I was gone, The Husband wiped Ubuntu and installed Windows XP. Meh, as long as it all works for me, I'm fine. I was getting used to Ubuntu, but I couldn't take the issue of it not responding, the slowness, the file menu disappearing, and not having a logical place to see what programs I have.
We'll see how it works for me to have Windows XP on here for now. I originally had Vista and that was a total system drain. Worse than Ubuntu. I'm not sure how another version of Windows will improve it, but we'll see.
I mentioned a photo shoot. I have a local photographer friend on my facebook that I met through a FB event for a nurse-in. Denny's (somewhere) had made an issue over a breastfeeding mother and so a bunch of other breastfeeding moms had gotten together to organize nurse-ins throughout the country. I met M through the FB page regarding this event in our city. Some months later, she was looking for models for her online gallery, specifically, children. I volunteered and she shot my kids. (Haaaa. With a camera, you sickos!) The images came out beautifully. She was quite patient, even when Thing 1 was being difficult. And she somehow managed to capture him in a way that you would never know he was being a pill that day. LOL
Today, she had some time to herself and wanted to take some pics, so she asked if anyone was available around 4. I volunteered again and met her downtown. We wandered around a little bit, looking for something to drink, and we came upon an event inside one of the buildings. We went inside to scope out the location of a small cafe or a water fountain. (We found a cafe.) While we were in there, though, the place was TEEMING with people and chatter and lights and noise and chaos and madness...... Totally overwhelming for me! I laughed when I told her, "Um, I have autism and this is freaking me out. So I'm just gonna stay close to you."
We found a decent place to shoot and we chatted & people watched a bit when we noticed some teenagers all dressed up in gold & black. It was a quinceañera and the young lady was wearing a gorgeous black & gold dress. Something had gotten on the front of it and we watched 2 teenaged boys helping her fix it. It was so sweet! M volunteered to take a couple pictures for the birthday girl and got her email addy. Hopefully, this will garner some business for M!
On my personal FB account, M posted a pic of me and I LOVE it! It came out beautifully! I wasn't sure how it would look, what with my purple hair, but it's good! I like it.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Shunned & blocked!
You guys remember my post about JWs and friendship? It's here: http://theratherunusual.blogspot.com/2012/01/i-was-asked-if-there-was-anything-i.html
I had that one JW friend who talks to me but her husband, who has been studying, told her to limit our interaction because I'm not spiritually encouraging. Remember, I never said anything negative to her about it. Not once.
Yesterday, on my personal facebook account, I inadvertently shared a link to my blog. I was logged in as myself, went to the November Amethyst fb page, and selected "Share" under a link to this blog. I had blocked several JWs from seeing the November account, so I (wrongfully) thought that they would not see that link on my personal fb because it came from the November fb account.
I was wrong. A couple of hours later, I thought it over some more and tried out some computery (yes, I made that new word) stuff w/ The Husband and it was realized that the only thing that blocking people from November's page does is remove the link back to November. That blog link still showed up on my wall.
Ok, to most, that's no big deal. But for me, it cost a "friend" and there may be further fall out from it. I have a handful of JWs still on my page and if I can maintain a civil/friendly relationship with them, I'd like that.
But if it doesn't work out, then such is life.
Anyway, I deleted the link from my personal page for the time being and went about my day. This morning, that one friend said on her fb that she was considering deactivating her account. Ok, whatever. A bit later, I realized she had disappeared from FB and assumed it was deactivated.
When I looked for a picture of the Mario Bros cake in my photos, I saw that she had commented on it, but her name was in black text. Typical for a block, but not for a deactivation (those just disappear). After some sleuthing, we found her fb account and her wall, where she posted:
I have decided to keep my account... I really do enjoy Facebook but I was receiving some VERY negative encouragement and have to do what's best for me & mine.
I'm thinking she saw the link to my blog and read some of it. She probably didn't like it. My guess is the whole "it's a cult" thing didn't sit right with her. JWs are taught that it's NOT a cult, but if the boot fits . . . (Thank you, Woody [Toy Story 2] for that awesome line!)
This is what happens when someone leaves the Jehovah's Witnesses and they aren't shy about their experiences or their opinion. They are labeled an apostate, mentally diseased, and shunned.
I could text her and see if she's ok. I could ask about her kids. I could ask if she's mailed me the stuff I forgot there or not. I could ask if she's still mailing my painting she did for me.
But I won't. It's not worth it.
If you're so willing to throw away a friendship because the person no longer shares your beliefs, then you have problems nothing can fix.
I had that one JW friend who talks to me but her husband, who has been studying, told her to limit our interaction because I'm not spiritually encouraging. Remember, I never said anything negative to her about it. Not once.
Yesterday, on my personal facebook account, I inadvertently shared a link to my blog. I was logged in as myself, went to the November Amethyst fb page, and selected "Share" under a link to this blog. I had blocked several JWs from seeing the November account, so I (wrongfully) thought that they would not see that link on my personal fb because it came from the November fb account.
I was wrong. A couple of hours later, I thought it over some more and tried out some computery (yes, I made that new word) stuff w/ The Husband and it was realized that the only thing that blocking people from November's page does is remove the link back to November. That blog link still showed up on my wall.
Ok, to most, that's no big deal. But for me, it cost a "friend" and there may be further fall out from it. I have a handful of JWs still on my page and if I can maintain a civil/friendly relationship with them, I'd like that.
But if it doesn't work out, then such is life.
Anyway, I deleted the link from my personal page for the time being and went about my day. This morning, that one friend said on her fb that she was considering deactivating her account. Ok, whatever. A bit later, I realized she had disappeared from FB and assumed it was deactivated.
When I looked for a picture of the Mario Bros cake in my photos, I saw that she had commented on it, but her name was in black text. Typical for a block, but not for a deactivation (those just disappear). After some sleuthing, we found her fb account and her wall, where she posted:
I have decided to keep my account... I really do enjoy Facebook but I was receiving some VERY negative encouragement and have to do what's best for me & mine.
I'm thinking she saw the link to my blog and read some of it. She probably didn't like it. My guess is the whole "it's a cult" thing didn't sit right with her. JWs are taught that it's NOT a cult, but if the boot fits . . . (Thank you, Woody [Toy Story 2] for that awesome line!)
This is what happens when someone leaves the Jehovah's Witnesses and they aren't shy about their experiences or their opinion. They are labeled an apostate, mentally diseased, and shunned.
I could text her and see if she's ok. I could ask about her kids. I could ask if she's mailed me the stuff I forgot there or not. I could ask if she's still mailing my painting she did for me.
But I won't. It's not worth it.
If you're so willing to throw away a friendship because the person no longer shares your beliefs, then you have problems nothing can fix.
The Super Mario Bros birthday cake & The Husband's upcoming birthday
I found a picture of the birthday cake I made for The Roomie!
Last night, I realized it's The Husband's birthday on February 11! This will be his first birthday! I need to do it up right, the way I've done for The Roomie & the kids. :)
I asked him what kind of cake he wants, expecting that I'd be decorating something, but he just wants a basic German Chocolate Cake. I can do that. :)
Last night, I realized it's The Husband's birthday on February 11! This will be his first birthday! I need to do it up right, the way I've done for The Roomie & the kids. :)
I asked him what kind of cake he wants, expecting that I'd be decorating something, but he just wants a basic German Chocolate Cake. I can do that. :)
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