I keep thinking how my former "friend" is shunning me and how obnoxious that is. Who the fuck does anyone think they are?! The audacity to think that you're better than me simply because I changed my mind is just beyond anything I can comprehend.
If there is a God, isn't it up to Him who gets judged and how?
I'm gutted by this. I expect it, yes, but that doesn't make it any easier to deal with and it doesn't make it right.
Have I been this way toward other ex-JWs in the past? Yes, I have. Know what I've done since I left? I've apologized to the ones I've shunned. Whether they forgive me or not is up to them, and if they give me the cold shoulder, then so be it. I understand.
I've been told (by a therapist) that I trust too much. Perhaps that's true. Why should I pour my heart and soul out to you if you don't appreciate it? If you turn your back on me? If you take advantage of me? If you abuse the privilege of hearing my most personal thoughts, opinions, and experiences? If you judge me for everything I've shared with you?
Time to build walls. Time to stop trusting so easily. Time for people like that to go. I don't need that drama in my life.
I want to text this former friend and ask her, "Blocked? Really? Awesome." But it's not worth my energy. It's not worth the mental drain. And it's not worth worrying about.
So I'll just say this:
Fuck. You. And the horse you rode in on.
If there is a God, isn't it up to Him who gets judged and how?
I'm gutted by this. I expect it, yes, but that doesn't make it any easier to deal with and it doesn't make it right.
Have I been this way toward other ex-JWs in the past? Yes, I have. Know what I've done since I left? I've apologized to the ones I've shunned. Whether they forgive me or not is up to them, and if they give me the cold shoulder, then so be it. I understand.
I've been told (by a therapist) that I trust too much. Perhaps that's true. Why should I pour my heart and soul out to you if you don't appreciate it? If you turn your back on me? If you take advantage of me? If you abuse the privilege of hearing my most personal thoughts, opinions, and experiences? If you judge me for everything I've shared with you?
Time to build walls. Time to stop trusting so easily. Time for people like that to go. I don't need that drama in my life.
I want to text this former friend and ask her, "Blocked? Really? Awesome." But it's not worth my energy. It's not worth the mental drain. And it's not worth worrying about.
So I'll just say this:
Fuck. You. And the horse you rode in on.
It's all about emotional blackmail. They think that if you're denied friendship or family it will shame you to rejoining their fucking cult.
ReplyDeleteTo those JWs that may read this, how does your God feel if you family member ONLY comes back because of missing their family? Is that Whole-Souled devotion?
ReplyDeleteDo NOT give her the satisfaction of knowing how bothered you are by this. Obviously she was not a real friend anyway, especially after she has been in the same place you are now. If anything that should give her that much understanding of where you are and what you are going through.
ReplyDeleteIf she can so easily remove you from her life, then you're right about it not being worth the trust and energy to even say anything in response.
ReplyDeleteThe best thing to do would be to focus on those in your life who are not only there for you no matter what but also much more positive influences. To steal a sentiment from their own words, why would you spend time around people who are only going to drag you down?
They say that about people who are disfellowshipped, especially those they term "apostate." But the difference here is that only YOU can determine what people are positive for you and your life. It's not being high and mighty, lording it over people, telling them with whom to spend their time. It's all up to you, so choose the folks who bring positive energy your way. It's your life!
You guys are awesome. And it's proof to me that you're TRUE friends. There are no conditions on our relationships. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteI love you guys!!! <3