Unschooling, Asperger's Syndrome, and how we arrived at *this* point

I've been asked to blog about Thing 1's education. I'll start from the beginning.

Thing 1 is 11 years old and has diagnosed Asperger's Syndrome. He was diagnosed at age 7, though I saw signs long before then. His Early Intervention (EI) case worker told me he was too young to be diagnosed at age 2.5-3. I now know this to be untrue, but I didn't know that at the time.

Thing 1 started kindergarten at age 5. His teacher's previous job was as a juvenile probation officer. If you want a career change, go for it. But you need to be aware that a room full of 5 year old are not to be viewed and treated as little criminals-in-the-making and it would serve you well to remember what sort of behavior is typical for that age group, whatever their diagnosis, or lack thereof.

He had endless problems w/ his teacher and the principal. Within the first few weeks of school, Thing 1 was spending much of his day in the office, I was getting notes home, his teacher was accusing him of lying, and he was miserable. The principal would call me from her cell phone and tell me what a horrible day he had and said he was a child with behavior problems. When I requested an evaluation, in writing, I was denied. This is against the law. Another thing I now know, but was not fully aware of at the time.

In December 2005, he had a bathroom accident at school that required a change of clothes & an immediate shower. I met The Husband at school and I walked in to take care of the issue. When I entered the lobby, Thing 1 was standing outside the office, in the lobby, on pieces of paper so the floor wouldn't get dirty.

He was not in the nurse's office because she was out sick with the flu.

The principal did not open the nurse's office.

When I asked to take him to a restroom to help him clean up and get into clean clothes so we could get him home and showered, I was told that there was not a restroom available, it wasn't sanitary, and the nurse wasn't in so I was not allowed to utilize her restroom, either.

I demanded to know whose idea it was to put him out on paper in the lobby (I used the phrase "like a dog") and was FURIOUS that he was humiliated in such a way. Classes of children passed by and saw him during his time there. I was not given an answer as to who decided to have him stand in the lobby and the principal was curiously absent during my questioning, only showing up towards the end of the incident.

We took him home to shower, but first, we had to find something for him to sit on so the seat of our vehicle wouldn't be dirtied. The waste had dried to his skin and when The Husband helped him wash it off, his skin was red underneath. His clothing & shoes were ruined. Under typical circumstances, I'd just have washed things and it would have been fine, but I was so incensed at the way he was treated, I didn't even feel like bothering.

I scheduled to meet with the superintendent over the matter, but due to bronchitis, it was a good 6 weeks before I could.

This happened a week or so before Christmas Break and the superintendent had a full schedule, so in addition to the bronchitis, I wasn't able to address it in a more timely manner. The Husband and I discussed home schooling him but never acted on it. I kept hoping things would improve.

At one point, his teacher threatened to have him dealt with by the campus police officer, who, incidentally, was her husband.

His behavior that prompted this were the following: lying (according to her), not putting a feather back on the ground from the playground (instead of bringing it in to school), running in the classroom.

That was it. Those were his only offenses.

His teacher was pregnant and when Christmas Break rolled around, she chose to begin her maternity leave.

I talked it over w/ my husband and we decided to see if Thing 1's experience improved during his regular teacher's maternity leave, when he had a different teacher.

Not surprising to me, his school experience WAS better. He received no notes home, he wasn't going to the office, and his sub LOVED him.

Finally, The Husband and I were able to talk with the superintendent. We made our displeasure w/ the incident known and I took the opportunity to discuss w/ the superintendent Thing 1's experiences with his primary teacher & his substitute teacher. I made certain the superintendent was fully aware of the fact that Thing 1's experiences were polar opposites.

In that meeting, I was told that Thing 1 DID have problems with the substitute and they just couldn't understand why we weren't informed. Why, he'd punched a child!

We never received notice of this alleged assault until I complained about his regular teacher and praised the substitute.

The 2nd week in March, his regular teacher returned and, within 3 days, he was in the office again. When I spoke with the principal, I asked to have him changed to a different class and was told NO because the classes were all full. By the end of the 2nd week and at least 3 more office visits and various notes home, I decided to home school him.

I bought some work books for him and we did educational stuff at home.

Choosing to home school in Texas is ridiculously easy. You have the right to choose HOW you school and you are under no obligation to prove anything to ANYONE. The process is easy, too. Just fill out a form stating your desire to home school and you're done. For middle school, I had to have certain staff members sign things to prove he returned the library books he had out, his lunch account was closed, etc. It was very easy.

So we finished his kindergarten year home schooling and then we moved over the summer. He started first grade in public school, in our current city, and he did wonderfully. His teacher was a gem and really worked well with him & with us. We remain on good terms and I credit her influence for changing his school experience in a positive way. (BIG thanks, A.S.B.! You rock!!!)

It was during his first grade year that Thing 1 was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome.

Thing 1 is in 6th grade, now, and home schooling again. This time, because of being punched and choked by 2 other students, his teachers did not communicate effectively with me (I never got any replies from them about anything --11 staff members, numerous phone calls, and 3 emails), and it took an obscene amount of time to begin an IEP for him, despite requesting a new one *before* school began. If the IEP and communication issues had been it, we could have worked with it. But when he came home one Monday night and told me he was choked in the bathroom and punched at lunch, I was done dealing with that school. It was no longer a safe learning environment for him and I was not going to put him through that.

I've purchased 2 different home schooling books for Thing 1, as well as a regular book that I just view as educational and pretty neat! We don't work from these books very often, though. He's more of a hands-on type of learner. He spends a lot of time playing video games, but we do spend time educating ourselves. When you home school, in whatever manner, it doesn't take the whole day to get things done. Just a few hours does it, and you can do that by spending a few minutes here and there throughout the day or sitting down and doing it all at once.

With unschooling, the concept is to let the child learn what's needed at his/her own pace. I like that concept and we do follow that, to a degree, but I also like to suggest things to look into.

Recently, we read part of Poe's 'The Raven', we spend time discussing various topics that we google or Wiki, and one of our science experiments was watching celery in colored water to see how plants get their nutrients.

We'll likely finish The Raven soon and discuss whatever else comes to mind, googling and wiki'ing as we go.

During Thing 2's first grade year, her anxiety was unbearable for her to the point that I had to home school her, as well, but Thing 1 was in public school. Thing 2 was able to attend public school again beginning in her 2nd grade year and has continued to have success. She is in 4th grade.

A lot of people don't think a kid really LEARNS this way, but it hasn't done my kids a disservice and I can't say I'm a huge fan of the current model of teaching & public school, anyway. The way public school works only serves to force kids into conformity and the real world doesn't quite work that way. We're in an era where the work force is a much more relaxed atmosphere and kids are far less likely to grow up and work factory jobs and far more likely to grow up and be engineers and inventors and scientists and just more creative. How does sitting behind a desk for 8 hours a day help their creativity and imagination flow? It doesn't. It crams you into a little box that you probably don't fit in.

Montessori education and Waldorf education are both models that buck the traditional sense of school. I think both have their benefits, but we are not in a position to pursue either method for any of our kids. Maybe one day we will, but that day is not today.

I have to be honest: I do worry that Thing 1 is not getting the education he needs. That's why I have the work books and why we read through them and do things from them sometimes.

So there you go, our unschooling/home schooling journey. Feel free to ask for more info. I'll be glad to answer in the comments. :)

EDIT: In the next couple of months, we will go through another schooling change. We will be moving back to our former area of the city where Thing 2 will attend her first elementary school and see wonderful teachers like A.S.B. and where Thing 1 will attend a nearby middle school (as someone with Asperger's, routine is very important to him) and see many familiar faces. Both kids are looking forward to this, as am I, because I know the elementary school staff and I know that my kids are important there. I imagine the middle school will be similar.